I am a person with intense focus. I hold tightly to things. Sometimes those things I can’t let go of are not what I need in my life anymore. I lived in New York two years longer than I needed to be there. I held onto people I thought were my friends but turned out to only take advantage. I stopped caring about what I had always wanted or what people would think. I finally came to my senses and reassessed the situation, that New York didn’t work for me anymore or that friend always cancels plans at the last minute is not really my friend. I made positive changes. I moved. I stopped making time for people that did not make time for me. These changes were hard to make and took time. But I got so much more out of it than I anticipated. When I spent less time upset or miserable my life became so much better. Things I had always wanted to do I suddenly had time for. I had better friends. There are many benefits to giving less fucks.
My goal of giving less fucks is going to take time and practice. But I have been making progress. What I have noticed from the past month of giving less fucks is that the less I focus on things that are not serving me the better my life becomes. Sometimes you have to give issues that are bothering you time to change.
There are many benefits that can come from giving less fucks. When I accept that some situations are not going to change, I am less frustrated. When I am less frustrated, I am happier. I have more time to devote to things that actually need my attention. There are so many more important things to care about right now. Life is cyclical and requires us to reassess. Slipping back into bad habits is an easy thing to do.
My friend Marilu Henner has a 36 hour rule. Whenever there is a problem, she gives it 36 hours to grow and change. As an Aries, I can be quick to react so this has been a hard thing for me to learn. But I have found that when I give that time to let the situation change, I also have the time to think about what my approach will be. Once the 36 hours are over I usually have a better plan on how to deal and sometimes the issue has resolved itself. There are times when I just have to let go of a bad situation. That’s when I practice not giving a fuck.
Within my career as a Pilates Instructor, I have a method that I teach from. There are times when I have to get creative to solve a problem whether it’s a space issue or imbalance within the body. Sometimes I focus on what needs to be fixed a little too much. I can get deep into the details, especially when I am exercising myself. I have to remember to let go of the tiny things and focus on the movement as a whole. Sometimes when I do that the little things fix themselves. Other times intense focus is needed and appreciated. There must be a balance within it all.
I have found I have more natural energy as well. When I do not waste energy worrying about things that are beyond my control I am not so tired. I have more energy to do fun things, like read. This is probably the best result of giving less fucks. If you have joined me on this journey I would love to hear the positive results you have experienced. Please share with me in the comments!