Fabric of Discontent

I weave my feelings
Into a fabric of discontent
As I think about you
How much it hurt to love you
How much it hurt to lose you

The stitches get tighter
My knuckles ache
The needles click
But my fingers move faster
The fabric flows beneath my hands 

My lap fills with fiber
As I make something beautiful
Out of pain
Out of heartache

I wear your betrayal wrapped around me
It winds around my neck
To block out the cold winds of loneliness
But no one knows 

I sleep wrapped in the warmth of your loss
The sorrow no longer stifled
It wipes away the tears
When they fall

The mittens hold my hands
Now that yours are gone
They remind me of your hands in mine and your kiss as the snow fell around us
How our lips will never touch again

My fruitful endeavors provide futile
The ball of yarn falls off my lap
It rolls away
As I pull on the yarn to bring it back
It only rolls farther
Just as you rolled across the country

It forces me to get up
Try to bring you back
But you will only roll away again
So away you’ll stay

Still I knit the fabric
Hope the feelings will change
Hope the healing will begin
Hope someday my heart will win